“You Will Have Nowhere To Defect To”

I’ve been waiting for November 5th to come for quite a while now.  The weeks leading up to the election were just unbelievably draining and I wanted it all to be over.  I tried to convince myself to expect it all to end this way, but I never really lost hope, which is why, I guess, I am completely devastated today.

I was busy with my two sweet, innocent kids all morning, a pretty nice distraction from the nausea I would feel if I ever stopped to think of the world that I brought them into.  After lunch, I put them both down for naps and ran on the treadmill.  Now, you might be thinking,”She just ran a marathon, she could run forever.”  Not so.  Every day I run about 2-3 miles and every day it is very hard and I hate it.  But today, though I didn’t eat very much being sick to my stomach n’all, I ran and ran and ran.  I ran four miles without stopping, being fueled by disappointment, unbelief, anger, frustration, helplessness, disgust, and most of all, FEAR.  I just wanted to escape all of it, but where could I go????  Finally, I stopped the treadmill, knelt down and cried and cried.

You might be thinking, “What the…???  This girl is out of her mind!  She must really hate black people!  You’re being just a little melodramatic, aren’t you, Jenn?”  Perhaps I am being overly dramatic, but today I can’t help it.  Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow…who knows.

Josh posted a video on his blog a few days ago, you must watch it. The title of my post is from the video and will not stop running through my head.  Demoralization of Society

Add the information from this video to words of the latter-day prophets and The Book of Mormon and what do you get?  Jenn, on the floor crying.

My parents were warriors in California to support Prop 8.  It was an extremely heated and frightening battle out there, especially for members of the LDS church.  And of course, it is wonderful that Proposition 8 passed, but my mind is boggled and reeling by how close it was to NOT passing.  This is definitely not over and I find myself questioning the strength I possess to continue fighting against a world that denies the simple truths and inner light that we all have been given.  I am overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising children who will have to fight even harder to make righteousness and truth prevail against the false teachings of men.

So no, I don’t hate black people, nor do I hate homosexual people.  I love everyone except for Satan who is doing a phenomenal job on this earth.