Free-Dumb Run

I never agree with Josh, but he will tell you that I am NOT a good liar. He will also tell you, and I whole-heartedly agree, that I HATE, HATE HATE getting in trouble.

On July 3rd, Kris and I decided to wake up early and run in the Freedom Run even though we hadn’t registered. We were too late to get a shirt and if we registered, we’d have to get to the park at 5:30 AM to pick up our junk. So we just thought “Whatever, we aren’t going to pay $25 to run 3 miles! We’ll just go run with the mob and get some exercise before we pig out all day long.”

We were having a good old time, laughing, running, seeing friends along the way. It was great! Until at about mile 2, a race security guard asked me where my number was. I was caught off-guard, being one of MANY people without numbers on! I very convincingly lied (here is where Josh would tell you that it was not convincing at all), as I continued on my way, “It’s in my stroller.” He yelled, “Put it on NOW!” Sheesh! It’s as if he didn’t believe me! What the… So I slowed to a walk and pretended to search around in my stroller pockets for said number. After what I thought was a safe distance, I started to run again. Kris nervously ran next to me and said “Jenn, he’s yelling at you.” I faintly heard a “Ma’am! Ma’am!” behind me but surely I wasn’t being referred to as MA’AM! That’s what old ladies are called!!!! So I kept running. Soon I heard loud, RUNNING footsteps behind me and the dude yelling “I CAN RUN FASTER THAN YOU CAN RIGHT NOW! STOP!!” What the @%!$@%#&?!?!?!??!

So he kicked us off the PUBLIC street. Oh man I was so pissed. I don’t used that term often but I will use it now. When I get in trouble, I get REALLY mad and proceed to get very rebellious. Kris and I weren’t going to partake in any of the race paraphernalia (did you know that word has a second “R” in it? I didn’t. Spell check just taught me that) but after he so unreasonably freaked out at ME, we walked for a few blocks then finished the race. We also drank the water they handed out and ate some fruit at the finish line. UH! Take that, jerk! This is a FREE country AND the 4th of JULY!!! I will run where I want to! UH!

That security guard is probably going to track me down and knock on my door demanding the $25. And you know what?! I’ll give it to him. I’ll also throw a banana and cup of water in his face! Here is a tribute to him (I know, he was just doing his job) AND also to Kris, my partner in crime whose favorite movie is “Better Off Dead”….