Josh, Jenn, Ashton, and Emmy…

Have you noticed how everything new is lame and everything old is SUPER DUPER?!?! Remember how awesome cartoons were when we were kids? They were soooo amazing you would actually wake up early on Saturdays. Todays cartoons (other than “Phineas and Ferb” which may be one of the best cartoons ever) are soooo lame.  Just to give you perspective on how stupid todays cartoons are, today Ashton said “Change it Dad, we don’t speak Spanish!”

What kind of dweebs have been put in charge of television programming? Every single kids show is the most annoying “educational” crap.  We can’t even tell our kids that “TV will rot your brain” because it is turning them into Spanish speaking, animal loving, sensitive, dorks.

LUCKILY, God invented YouTube and then filled it with AMAZING reruns any time you choose to rerun them.  Now every day at lunch we rot the brains of our children with old cartoons.

Ashton loves: Bugs Bunny, Casper the Friendly Ghost, old Disney cartoons, Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes, and Smurfs.

Emmy always wants to watch: My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Care Bears, old Disney and anything with pirates or princesses.

So blog readers please make some suggestions for classics we can use to further rot the brains of our children.

I wasn’t planning on telling anyone this horribly embarrassing story but since Emmy already let the cat out of the bag, here it goes.

As I have mentioned before – 4 days into Emmy’s 3-day potty training we were nowhere near the potty training finish line. I had a doctors appointment that I could not cance, so I ventured out WITH Emmy in tow. She hadn’t gone to the bathroom all morning and by 11 AM I was WAAAAY stressed out about her having an accident. In the waiting room she had been doing a potty dance for about 10 minutes but would not go.

Welp, they called me in from the waiting room to WAIT SOME MORE in the examination room (I’m not complaining, it’s way better than socialized medicine or anything that is already lined up for us, whatever it is). I’m just saying, we were farther from the restroom and I really had no idea how long we’d be sitting there in the tiny room waiting to see the doc.

After who-knows-how-long, Emmy jumped off her chair and said “I have to go potty!”

Normally I am lousy under pressure – I just freeze, my legs go numb and I hope the situation takes care of itself. But not this time! This time I was Super Mom! One of those perfect moms that they tell soul crushing stories about on the second Sunday in May. Like a flash I pulled off her pants and lifted her as if she was as light as a two year old. Then plopped her chubby little bum right down in…that’s right…the tiny sink used only for washing hands before procedures that must be completely sterile. As soon as she was adequately positioned, it all came flowing out. Holy crud! I was sooooo grateful for that sink! What else could I have done!?!?!?! Please tell me if there was any other option because I do realize how disgusting it was. I washed my hands (yes in the same sink) and was drying them just as the doctor walked in. PHEW!!!! The only horrible, awkward thing is that Emmy had that UTI (I was unaware of it at the time) and her pee left a very pungent odor in the air which I am sure was lingering when he came in. Josh says it smelled like she had just eaten tons of bad asparagus.

Later as I recounted my adventure to Josh, I felt so awesome! Not a drop of pee got on the floor and I was just calmly washing my hands like I owned the place when the doctor came walking in. I totally got away with it and nobody would ever know.

So I went back on Thursday for my monthly check-up (pregnancy). It had been a whole month since the incident and I wasn’t even thinking about it. As the doctor was the leaving the room, Emmy very proudly said,”I WENT POTTY IN…YOUR SINK!” DOH!!! Before I could even say anything, the doctor said,”Well, that’s a good place to go” and left the room (I’m sure he was rolling his eyes in disgust). OH MY GOODNESS. I am sooooo embarrassed!!!!

Ashton has preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  He LOVES it and it never stops being completely cute to me when he’s all ready to head out the door to catch his ride to school.  This morning Emmy happened to have the camera and snapped this shot.  I am so happy it turned out.  I always pick Ashton up and hug and kiss him.  The other day Josh said, “You know he’s not going to let you do that for very much longer.”  SO SAD!!!!  Until that day comes….

Then Emmy always has to run down the stairs to give him a hug, usually when he is already running down the sidewalk.  This morning she hugged and kissed him and said,”You’re my best friend!”  Oh wowie, heart melted!!!

So then I had a couple hours to spend with Emmy.  We watched “Annie” (some of it, anyway) and played in her playhouse under the stairs.  Here is my tiny girl watching her movie…

Wouldn’t it be great to have a Love Sac that giant all to yourself???!!!

Saturday morning, after almost two weeks of being stuck in the house with unsuccessful potty training and having a very sick little girl, I was wiped out and very grumpy.   Josh saved the day, for everyone in our house, by insisting that I go take a nap while he and the kids went on an adventure.  THAT sounded fun and I really wanted to go, but recognized my desperate need for sleep.

While I was snoozing, those guys went all over the place!  Josh took them to Dakota’s where they fed her HUGE pigs and tiny goats.  They went to a park to play.  Then they went to another park to feed the ducks and played at ANOTHER playground.  AND THEEEEEN Josh took them to McDonald’s.

Josh is the best.  I woke up much happier, I cleaned the house a TINY bit, and then wandered around not knowing what to do with myself.

With this new baby coming soon, the pressure to get Emmy out of the crib and diapers has been huge.  So at the beginning of March, we put Em in a toddler bed.  At the end of March she stopped having milk before naps and bedtime.  And the first week of April, I started potty training.  With Ashton I used the 3-Day-Potty-Training Method, which turned out to be the worst three days ever and really ended up taking 5 days.  But what else could I do, buy Pull-Ups for months hoping she would just figure it out?  Naaaaah.

So on Day 1 she woke up and I put her new undies on and had her throw away the rest of her diapers.  She was very happy and excited to be such a big girl.

We painted, played Hungry Hippos and the Fishing Game, made cookies, played with Play-Doh, and all kinds of activities NEAR the bathroom.

I had much more realistic expectations this time around which helped me stay positive.  She had one successful toilet experience on the second day and I thought “WOOOO-HOOOO! This is it!  She’s got it!”  She got hugs from everyone including Ashton….

However, that ended up being complete luck.  By Day 6…that’s right, DAY SIX…I was loosing it!   Emmy had become quite the pro at HOLDING it for hours and hours.  After about five hours, I would just take her to the toilet which would cause her to completely freak out and scream and cry.  Also on Day 6, Emmy developed a fever and had crazy chills and even threw up a couple times…



How sad, huh?  This was the FIRST TIME in her whole life that she had ever been sick.  By 11 AM, when her fever hit 103.8, I rushed her to the doctor.  Guess what they needed from my sad, sick, frustrated little girl….That’s right…A URINE SAMPLE.  GREAT!!!!  Long story short, probably since the first day of potty training, Emmy had a Urinary Tract Infection.  Poor baby!

So she started antibiotics and for the next three days we fought that fever of 103 which kept coming back.  She was very cuddly and sad.

Her fever finally went away and it was like starting the potty training all over again.  I was tired of saying “Tell me if you have to go potty” and waiting for the pee to just end up on the floor. So I would just force her to sit on the toilet after hours of her holding it.  She had some successes, but only after 30 minutes or even an hour in the bathroom…

This marks the 13th Day of Potty Training and BY GEORGE, SHE’S GOT IT!!!!  If she hadn’t had the UTI, I think it might have taken three or four days.  Ah well.  I cleaned my house today, Emmy’s happy and healthy and even woke up dry this morning!  Life is good and back to normal.